Yes, I do have a lisp

I ordered: Chicken Satay
They delivered: Chicken Pad Thai

A real conversation

which I really just had

- Good afternoon, Shreddies, how may I help you?
- Hi there, this is Katie, I just missed a call from this number.
- Um, oh right. We're a shredding company. We shred things. Well, paper.
- Oh, OK. Guess it must've been a wrong number.
- Gosh, I'm really sorry about that.
- It's no problem, really. I was just checking it wasn't important. Bye!
- Um, hold on. You don't happen to need anything shredding, do you?
- Er... no I don't need anything shredding.
- [Downcast] OK, bye.
- [Feels terrible] Bye.

I know I've got a Creative Writing MA

but there's only so much of my life I can spend writing complaint letters, so please sort it out. Thanks.

I'm not saying this is a *good* idea

But 500 years ago, at this juncture, we would've had a civil war...

In the interests of fairness.

I should say that one of the candidates sent a detailed reply to my email this evening. At 8:30pm. Immediately after one of her party faithful had landed on my doorstep.

He could not, off the top of his head, answer my disability-related question. Surprise.

So there we are.

Which of these things do we suppose my suddenly disability aware candidate is most interested in 11 hours before the polls open:

1. The needs of disabled people
2. Getting me to vote for her

Incidentally, voting requires me to scale a huge hill. This will involve either money or pain. I should, rightfully, have asked her to give me a lift to the polling station.

I have become

an election bore.

I live in a marginal constituency

and I don't know who to vote for.

I had sorta assumed my local candidates would want my vote, and therefore reply to the emails I have sent them asking to clarify various aspects of their policies affecting disabled adults.*

But they haven't.

This makes me sad.

I still don't know who to vote for. I do know that whoever becomes my local MP, representing - y'know - ME in parliament, they will be someone who has not given much thought to how their politicial decisions affect disabled people. At least, that is what the non-replies to my emails suggest.

And I am someone who is very, very politically engaged and actively wants to think about who I vote for and why. My life experience as a disabled person is not the only factor which will determine my decision, but I am selfish enough to hone in on the policies which affect me directly. I would like to understand what everyone I might vote for is offering me.

It seems they're not keen to tell me.

Or maybe they don't know.

Or maybe they're offering me nothing much at all.

Candidates: you have 72 hours to talk to me. Please do. Or I might lose my faith in the democratic process.


* NB: I didn't email all of them. I did read all their manifestos. Except the manifestos of the idiot parties. I only emailed the candidates who I still sort of wanted to vote for after reading that propoganda. The ones I thought might give disabled people a fair crack of the whip. It is these candidates who have ignored me. Which, frankly, is more depressing than if I'd blanket emailed them and they'd blanket ignored me.




This post was brought to you in honour of Blogging Against Disablism Day.