I am

giving up being disabled.

It is boring!

I am

excited by material wealth.

Bankruptcy

1. Some tickets to a good band;
2. A new dress;
3. And some handmade pants.
4. Some yoghurt;
5. An unintentional meal;
6. A necklace;
7. A friend on the beach;
8. And chocolate.

I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe me

They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely.

Apparently

I am supposed to care whether he comes home or not

A cure for backache

Double vodka cranberry.

My girl's been a real whore

, spending her time with Theodore.

Things I have learnt about myself #1

My left thumb is not designed for button-pushing.

Oh for fuck's sake

This time last year he was hitting on me.

Not that you know that.

Which doesn't bode well.

Lunch!

Baked beans. Packet rice. Farm cheddar.

Glorious

Not really.

Although there has been some confusion over my BMI

it turns out I am not fat.

No really.

Weights and measures and cerebral palsy aren't entirely happy bedfellows.

You see.

Are you

the mystery stalker?