Attention Everyone!

Female Politicians! They have breasts, apparently! Who would've thunk it?

Thanks, Daily Mail.

Things I cannot live without #1

Chocolate. Obviously.

I suspect

I may be quite memorable.

Is all.

FACT!

I have never perforated my eardrum.

Today I went to Peckham

and I did not even get murdered or anything.

I am a fool

That is all.

If you are looking for me

I will be living in a hut on an island miles away from civilisation and chain smoking Cuban cigars rolled on the thighs of virgins.

I wish it to be known that

I have just changed my own bedclothes for the first time in about four years.

It wasn't worth the effort.

It is disgusting

My ears are melting.

Can I have some candy floss?

I shaved my legs and everything

*sigh*