No, I don't know how I got a Staph infection in my armpit, either

And yes, I am going to stay in a yurt.

Interesting Customer Service Techniques #1

"The thing is, these cocktails are very strong. So strong they are undrinkable."
"Yes they are!"

I'm *really* looking forward to the day there's a proper emergency

They say, "I just need you to leave the station immediately. No arguments."

The Cripple says, in a level, assertive voice, "You have cordoned off the level access exits. I am disabled and cannot manage those stairs. Is there an alternative accessible way out?"

They say, "You need to calm down love."

The Cripple says, "I am very calm indeed but I cannot manage those stairs. You are asking me to leave the station. If there is imminent danger I would very much like to do that. Please tell me how I can get out without climbing those stairs."

They say, "Um..."
They say, "Is there no way you can get up the stairs?"
They say, "We can escort you."

I say, "If the escort is offering me a piggy back, that's fine."

They say, "Um..."
They say, "You can't go in the subway."
They say, "Um..."

I am back!

I am not here!