12 April 2008

I'm *really* looking forward to the day there's a proper emergency

They say, "I just need you to leave the station immediately. No arguments."

The Cripple says, in a level, assertive voice, "You have cordoned off the level access exits. I am disabled and cannot manage those stairs. Is there an alternative accessible way out?"

They say, "You need to calm down love."

The Cripple says, "I am very calm indeed but I cannot manage those stairs. You are asking me to leave the station. If there is imminent danger I would very much like to do that. Please tell me how I can get out without climbing those stairs."

They say, "Um..."
They say, "Is there no way you can get up the stairs?"
They say, "We can escort you."

I say, "If the escort is offering me a piggy back, that's fine."

They say, "Um..."
They say, "You can't go in the subway."
They say, "Um..."


Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

I'd just like to say at this point - you know, in case I never get the opportunity again - that it's been really nice knowing you.

11:13 am  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

My word, that was a long post! You'll be writing a sequel to War and Peace next!

3:24 pm  
Blogger Twit said...

You need a jetpack!

I shall commence constructing you one forthwith, out of old Special-Brew cans, bra straps & lighter fuel.


6:40 pm  
Blogger Penny L. Richards said...

Ever since Daleks learned to hover up staircases, they think everyone can do it...

11:41 pm  
Blogger Twit said...

I don't hoover upstairs.
I've got wooden floors; so I just use a brush.

9:54 pm  

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