23 May 2014

I really miss her because

she would know what to tell me.

14 April 2013

When you call for your blood test results and the receptionist tells you to come in ASAP

it's a fair bet they won't begin the appointment with, "Hey! We've got GREAT news!"

30 October 2012

The best chat up line I have ever heard

is the one where we go on a blind date and, half and hour in, he casually mentions he is engaged to be married?!

17 September 2012

Things you have to experience to understand #243

Exhaustion.

30 August 2012

This actually just happened

I am knackered so was having a nap. My doorbell rang. I assumed it was a parcel delivery so went downstairs and answered the door. It was two Scope fundraisers. I congratulated them on waking me up and making me walk downstairs for no reason. They told me I was the first person with cerebral palsy they have ever met.

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18 June 2012

I just broke

the NHS.

06 June 2012

You know how you try and avoid thinking about something, and then you can't stop?

Orange penguins.