Might I just point out

that Jarvis Cocker will read you bedtime stories, assuming you have an iPod and the necessary technical know-how.

And we're not even going to talk about how I know he's doing a secret gig round the corner from me some time very soon and I seem to have managed to not acquire tickets.

Because if we were to talk about that, I might have to admit that that means I'm not cool anymore.

Fuck.