People I do not want to meet when trapped in a burning building

Cop: Tube station's closed, love
Me : Um, OK. Any idea how I can get to Victoria?
Cop: Don't worry. You can walk to any other tube station on the line and use that.
Me : [Indicates walking stick] No, I can't.
Cop: Oh. Er...
Me : My walking's very limited.
Cop: Um...
Me : What would you recommend?
Cop: [Shrugs]
Me : Is there a bus?
Cop: Yes! Get a bus!
Me : Is there a bus to Victoria? A direct bus?
Cop: Dunno.
Me : Where do the buses go from?
Cop: Um, somewhere near here. If you just walk along a bit, you'll find them.
Me : I can't walk very far at all. I can't walk aimlessly around Hammersmith in the hope I might, perhaps, find a bus.
Cop: [Laughs]
Me : [Shouts]

Random passerby: [puts me on a bus to Clapham]